A Message on You!

The biggest message I want to leave you this week is for you to know that you are the creator of your life and that you are the expert of you!  The message is to empower you with the realization of how magnificent you are, and that you have all of the power within you to create your life the way that you choose, through the law of attraction.

I am not the expert of you. I cannot be inside you and think, feel, and believe for you.  I have not had your life experiences which make up all that you are.  No one else is the expert of you, and the moment you think someone is, you have given away your power. You are the only one who is the expert of you.

When you don't know what to do, or how to handle a situation, or which path to take, or how to manifest something, or whatever it is you may be asking, ask the expert, which is You! 

When you want an answer to a question, direct that question to within you. Believe and know that the moment you ask, you are being answered. You don't know how the answer will come, but you will receive it, and the answer you receive is the perfect answer for you because you attracted it from within you. 

Your answer comes to you based on all that is contained inside you, both consciously and unconsciously, and so your answer is unique! The answer you receive for you and that feels good to you is perfection. You can be inspired by others, but what works for them might not work for you. If you try something suggested by someone else and it doesn't appear to work for you, then you are not at fault. Simply let it go and know that it just isn't the right way for you. It means there is a better answer for you, so use the creative process and ask for your answer!

The other thing I want you to know is that whatever you choose for you is right! You cannot get it wrong. If you have chosen something for you, it is right! You cannot fail.  It is impossible for you to fail, because how can you fail at being You? You are the perfection of you, because nobody else can be you. 

Do you appreciate that you are an outstanding and total success at being you, right where you are now?  You might want to change things in your life that you have created, and you have the power to do that. You might want to bring new things into your life, and you have the power to do that. You are the guiding light of your own being. 

You are not alone. Within you is the infinite creative power and presence, guiding you, loving you, and waiting to give you anything and everything you choose. You have access to all that is, to all that has ever been and all that will ever be - and it is through the creative power within you.

And so if you do want to "zip, zap, zoom" and receive everything and anything you are dreaming of for you, know that it is through your joy - your happy feeling inside.  It is the fastest path. Your joy - you feeling good - is the shortcut to everything you want.

When you choose to be happy now - no matter what is happening around you - you have unleashed the magic of the Universe to pour unlimited happiness into your life.  And you have done it through the unfathomable power within you.

Be happy now!

Feel good now!

Be in joy now!

What do these three things have in common?  You are the only one who can do it.  You are the only one in control of your feelings and you are the only one who knows what feels good for you, what is joy for you, what is happiness for you.  Because you are the expert of you!

Pretty magnificent, aren't you!

Are You Emotionally Generous of Emotionally Stingy?

What is Emotional generosity? –It is the act of giving positive emotions to others without expecting anything in return.

Emotionally generous people continuously bring happiness love and positivity to others, without expecting anything in return. They are constantly thinking about how they can make others around them feel better. They love praising others, rewarding people, recognizing the talents in others, showing signs of appreciation, among other positive emotion inducing actions.

The opposite of emotional generosity is emotional stinginess.

Emotionally stingy people have a very meager and miserly mindset towards sharing and giving. They are reluctant to praise other people, often sizing others up to certain expectations before they are willing to express their approval of them. They are judgmental and critical of what others say, feel, think, act. They are selfish in sharing what they have; they would rather keep things for their own.

What leads to Emotional Stinginess?

Emotionally stingy people can be motivated to behave in that manner because of any or a combination of the following 8 reasons:

1.         Avoidance. Seeing other people happy makes them feel insecure and reminds them that they’re not happy.

2.         Misery. They are miserable on the inside and want people to be like them. After all, misery loves company.

3.         Self-righteousness. They feel a person do not deserve to receive any act of kindness from them until he/she really proves his/her worth or earns it.

4.         Selfishness. They don’t want others to experience what they have earned for themselves.

5.         Ego. Praising someone else means acknowledging he/she is superior and admitting they’re worse than him/her.

6.         Competitiveness. They see other people as a source of competition and don’t want to share what they have with their ‘competitors’.

7.         Fear. Offering an act of kindness to someone opens them up and makes them vulnerable. They are afraid of being humiliated if the kindness is not returned.

8.         Zero-sum mentality (a.k.a sum of all the gains in a situation are equal to losses). If they share what they have with others, it means they will have lesser for themselves.

If you look around you, emotional stinginess is a phenomenon that is common in our society today. Many people have been cultivated and conditioned to be emotionally stingy by their family, friends, schoolmates, colleagues, acquaintances, etc. This is because our average society vibrates at consciousness levels of Pride and below. At this level, the duality mindset is dominant. People are viewed as separate entities; scarcity mindset is the norm; zero-sum is the name of the game; ego drives our actions; it is all about winning and beating the competition.

Have you been around emotionally stingy people? People who are just so uptight about sharing what they have, dispensing compliments, giving encouragements, offering help, and so on? How does it feel? 

I have come across emotionally stingy people in my life and the truth is, these people just aren’t very enjoyable to be around. Being around them feels like being in an emotional vortex that just sucks up all your energy and leaves you with a dry and unpleasant feeling inside. It’s very draining. No matter how the person may look on the outside, you just feel that the person is ugly on both the inside and outside because it’s always such as negative experience.

How To Get What You Want!

Asking people for what we want can sometimes be a difficult process involving awkward discussions and potential conflict. However, it doesn't have to be that way.

The secret to getting what you want from other people is to develop a genuine sense of reciprocity by giving before you receive.

The term 'reciprocity' describes the expectation that people will respond to you in the same way that you respond to them. So if you give another person something of value, they will be much more inclined to give you something in return.

Next time you want something from someone, instead of simply asking or demanding what you want, try using the following Reciprocity Formula.

The Reciprocity Formula

Step 1: Analyze the situation from the other person's point of view and try to identify what they currently want. If you can't figure out what they want, the best thing to do is to ask them.

Step 2: When you have identified the main thing they want, present your case by saying something like, "If I help you achieve… [what they want], could we discuss… [what you want]. Most reasonable people will be open to this approach because they are receiving before they have to give.

Step 3: Follow through and help the other person achieve their objective. The more time and effort you put in during this step, the more reciprocity you will develop.

Step 4: When you have achieved the objective you agreed upon, revisit your initial discussion and ask for what you originally wanted.

Giving before you receive and developing a genuine sense of reciprocity is one of the most effective ways to get what you want from other people.

So today, I'd like to encourage you to use the Reciprocity Formula to develop true WIN-WIN agreements that will help you achieve your most important life goals.

A Success Lesson from the Past from Michelangelo

The large block of marble stood in the center of the open-air workshop. The officials who had purchased the block were eager to get their project underway and began looking for an artist who could transform the stone block into a work of art.

A suitable artist was identified and work began on the project, but as time passed, the artist gradually lost interest and eventually walked away from his commission.

Another artist was found and work commenced once more, however, this second artist also lost interest and the entire project came to a grinding halt.

The block of marble then sat neglected in the yard of the workshop for over 25 years!

Then one day, a young man in his twenties heard about the marble block and visited the yard. When he gazed upon the stone, the young man did not see a weathered old block of marble. Instead, he saw an opportunity waiting to be realized.

He negotiated with the owners of the marble block and in due course received permission to try his hand where others had failed.

For three long years the young man chipped away at the block of stone and tap by tap he transformed his dream into a reality.

In January 1504, the young man whose name was Michelangelo, unveiled his statue of David.

The secret of Michelangelo’s success was that he was able to combine two seemingly conflicting virtues.

The first of these virtues was Vision. Whereas most people looked upon the marble block and saw a neglected slab of stone, Michelangelo saw a magnificent statue trapped within the rock just waiting to be released.

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free”
- Michelangelo

In addition to having the ability to visualize his ultimate desire, Michelangelo also developed the virtue of Patience.

He knew that long lasting success did not come quickly or easily, but rather, it was the result of patiently chipping away at his goal each and every day.

“Genius is Eternal Patience”
- Michelangelo

Today, some five hundred years later, many of us spend time to develop a grand vision for our life, but then we quickly become impatient to make our vision a reality. All too often we become frustrated with our lack of progress and eventually give up on our goal entirely.

It is a rare individual who can combine the ability to visualize their goal with the patience to take the small daily steps necessary to transform that vision into reality.

Today I’d like to encourage you to approach your own goals in the same way that Michelangelo approached the creation of the statue of David. Even though your current reality may resemble the worn out block of marble, challenge yourself to look deeper to find the hidden opportunity that is waiting to be realized. Once you have identified your objective, resist the urge to become impatient. Instead, develop a mindset of quiet anticipation and chip away at your goal a little each day.

By combining the power of Vision with the virtue of Patience, nothing will stop you from creating your own masterpiece.

Have you heard about the "Platinum Rule?"

Happy Week to everybody.

Do You expect too much from others?, DO you get disappointed when people don’t treat you the way you expect them to? Well I am trying very hard not to. So I thought I will share this with you.

Most people are familiar with the timeless “Golden Rule” – Treat others the way you would like to be treated. And while it is truly a wonderful guide to our human interactions, that tenet does have one basic flaw. Since people are unique individuals with varying needs, desires, and perspectives, some folks may not want to be dealt with in the exact same manner as you do.

Certainly, like you, everyone else at work expects to be treated fairly – with dignity and respect. We all want to be listened to, to have our ideas and concerns considered, and to feel that we (and our work) truly matter. But how we’d like those universal expectations to be met is where we tend to differ. For every person who enjoys public praise, there’s someone else who prefers to be recognized privately. For every team member who wants direct and candid feedback, there’s another who likes the medicine with a little sugar. For every person who wants to lead, there is someone else who operates best as a committed follower. For every colleague who…oh well, you get the picture.

Bottom line: There are no clones of you floating around out there. So, rather than treating others the way you want to be treated consider treating them the way THEY want to be treated. That’s called “The Platinum Rule” – and it’s one of the very best guides for improving intergenerational relationships.

Think of the people you work with and for. What behaviors do they engage in? How do they tend to get their work done? What seems important to them? What generational characteristics do they exhibit? What are their obvious likes and dislikes? By answering these questions, you’ll develop a feel for what makes your colleagues ‘tick.’ Then, use that information to enhance your daily interactions.

What Makes You Come Alive?

Hi, My Final post for this week. I like to leave you  with a positive thought.

Here’s a great way to think about the process of figuring out what you want from life. Imagine that I presented you with a blank canvas and asked you what it represented.

No matter how much you analyze and think about this canvas, it’s impossible to determine what it represents because you have no reference points to work with.

On the other hand, imagine that I gave you this canvas and asked you to figure out what it represented.

This time you’d be able to join the dots to reveal a star – Clearly, it is the dots that make all the difference.

The process of figuring out what you want from life is similar. Sitting in a room and trying to come up with a ‘life plan’ rarely works. It’s like staring at the blank canvas – You have no reference points to work with.

The secret to figuring out what you want from life is to gain some additional dots on your life canvas. In the real world, these dots come from experiences.

Each time you have a new experience you gain an additional dot on your life canvas, and once you have accumulated enough ‘experience dots’ you can often join the dots and identify your true passion.

Here’s an example that illustrates this process:

John had read dozens of personal development books and attended his fair share of seminars. He felt he had a good understanding of how to set goals. The only problem was – John didn’t really know what he wanted.

In an attempt to clarify his goals, John spent many hours trying to decide what he should do. However, after expending a great deal of emotional energy, he finally realized that it was impossible to sit down and ‘figure out’ life.

Instead, what he really needed to do was to get out of his room and collect some new ‘experience dots’ for his life canvas.

For John, this was the turning point.

Instead of trying to figure out his overall life plan, he made the liberating decision to just explore different things that interested him.

He joined a local film club simply because he’d always loved old movies. He also did an introductory computer course at his local library because he wanted to learn more about the Internet.

After accumulating a wide range of seemingly unrelated new experiences, John was able to look back and join the dots to discover that his true passion was to create his own Internet business focusing on classic films, actors and memorabilia.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.

Because what the world needs are people who have come alive”

So today, if you’re not quite sure what you want from life, here is what I’d suggest:

(1) Stop trying to sit down and ‘figure out’ life – it really doesn’t work
(2) Give yourself the freedom to explore your interests and accumulate life experience and thereby gain additional dots on your life canvas.
(3) Over time, you’ll be able to look back on your life experiences and join the dots to identify your true passion.

I hope this approach releases you of the burden of having to try and ‘figure out’ life and that you enjoy finding what makes you come alive.

Have a great weekend.

Are you Upset or Disappointed Today?

I was really down yesterday, lost my temper, yelled a bit, cursed a bit, Being down with a viral flue, unable to utter few words due to tonsillitis, my wife also down with the flu and an attack of the wheeze, drove around town without using the A/C in the car, got a bit frustrated. Sounds Familiar? So what did I achieve by being frustrated? Nothing!. Well at least I am being honest to accept my mistakes. So I thought of sharing these few words of encouragement with you today.

Every day, we have opportunities to get upset, be frustrated or get offended. Maybe you had plans that didn’t work out, or someone was rude to you at the office. Maybe you were doing something that should have taken one hour, and it ended up taking three. Life is full of inconveniences, but even though we can’t always control our circumstances, we can control our reaction.

I heard somebody say, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond.”

We should always go out each day with a positive attitude, full of hope and expecting God’s favor. But at the same time, we should recognize that most days are not going to go exactly as we planned. Remember, we were created to live in peace. Peace is our position of power. If you get stressed because you got off schedule or upset because your child wouldn’t eat his breakfast, or frustrated because somebody offended you, you’re are giving away your power. Instead, make the decision to release those offenses and disappointments so you can live in peace and enjoy the day as a blessing God prepared for you!

So Cheer Up! As a colleague of mine would always say,

Life is like a cocktail, you need to sip it to enjoy it. Take each day at a time, Live life to the fullest, Hope every day will be a great day.