The Relationship Formula

Posted by :Hussein Adamally

There is a simple formula that can you can use to analyze and improve many relationships in your life. Whether it’s your relationship with your spouse, your children, your siblings or your friends, understanding this Relationship Formula can provide you with a simple but powerful way to develop a stronger bond.

               The Relationship Formula 

The symbol that looks a little like a fish means ‘is directly proportional to’.Therefore, the Relationship Formula reads:

“The strength of your relationship to another person is directly proportional to the quality and quantity of your shared experiences.

When you see someone regularly and share high quality experiences together, your relationship will inevitably become stronger. Conversely if you do not see someone regularly or the quality of your shared experiences is poor, over time the strength of your relationship will decline.

Let’s take a look at an example to see how the Relationship Formula can be applied in the real world.

Karen and her mother had always been close but after Karen moved to a different suburb for a new job they found it difficult to catch up with one another. Although they tried to stay in touch by phone, as time passed, they both realized that they were slowly drifting apart.

When Karen heard about the Relationship Formula, she immediately recognized that both the quality and the quantity of her shared experiences with her mom had decreased significantly and that their relationship had suffered as a result.

Based on this insight, Karen resolved to find a way to increase the quality and quantity of the time she spent with her mom.

As a child, Karen loved to curl up on her mother’s lap and watch the Sunday afternoon movie. So when she heard that the cinema in her old home town had started a monthly movie club, she decided that this would be the perfect experience for her and her mom to share.

Once a month, Karen drove home and picked up her mom before heading to the cinema to watch whatever movie the club had organized. They would often have a bite to eat beforehand and always stopped off for a coffee and chat after the movie.

By sharing this regular and enjoyable experience, Karen and her mom reconnected in a very special way.

Many years later when Karen’s mom passed away, Karen often looked back on these movie afternoons as one of the best things she ever did.

Today I’d like to ask if there is someone in your life who you’d like to reconnect with or with whom you’d like to build a stronger relationship. If there is, then I’d encourage you to use the Relationship Formula by following these simple steps:

(1) Identify an experience that you both enjoy. This could involve playing sport, watching a DVD or anything else that you are both interested in.

(2) Schedule a regular time to catch up and share the experience together. For example, you might decide to catch up on the first Saturday of each month to play squash.

By consciously deciding who you want to spend time with and applying the Relationship Formula, you can take a positive step towards developing a strong relationship that will enrich your life for many years to come.

How Rich Are We?

Hope this story will help you look at life to the fullest and from a positive perspective.

One day a father and his rich family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor, people can be. They spent a day and a night on the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "Very good Dad!", he said.

Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked. "Yeah!" " said the son. And what did you learn?"

The son answered.

I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars.

Our patio reaches to the front yard; they have a whole horizon.

When the little boy was finished, his father was speechless. His son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how 'poor' we are!"

Isn't it true that it all depends on the way you look at things? If you have love, friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude towards life -- you've got everything! You can't buy any of these things. You may have all the material possessions you can imagine, provisions for the future, etc.; but if you are poor of spirit, you have nothing!

Never Be Late

This is such a big issue with many I know who are never on time for anything. This clearly shows their lack of professionalism, which also shows how disorganized they are.

People recently asked me how I always manage to be on time. My response was, ‘It’s not how, its why’. Being on time is easy, if you really want to!

Few reasons why being late are bad, whether it’s for business, and personal, family or social commitments:

1. It shows lack of interest, commitment or passion. Why would anyone hire a person who is late for an interview? Or do business with someone who can’t keep the first commitment? How could a relationship be a priority if our appointments with our loved ones are the first to be compromised?
2. It demonstrates lack of respect for other people’s time. How do you feel when you somehow manage to show up on time, and then have to wait for the other person?
3. It sets the wrong example for our family, friends and co-workers – especially for people who look up to us e.g. our children, students or subordinates.

Now some tips on how to be on time:

1. Give importance. Decide to be on time. Don’t participate in anything half-heartedly.
2. Plan ahead. Be realistic about how long does it take to get ready and get there. Expect the traffic and other things to go wrong.
3. Positive affirmations. Telling yourself, ‘I am always on time’ works better than ‘I am always late!’

“I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time.” (Charles Dickens)

Law of the Garbage Truck

This story was given to me by my daughter which I like to share with you today. She’s just 12 and her appetite for such knowledge amazes me. This is a great story on character and attitude, which is lacking in so many people today.

The world would be a better place if we could only have a better attitude.

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.  We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!  The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.  My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy, and I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that?  This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital! His is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck. ‘He explained that many people are like garbage trucks.  They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.  Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.  Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so ... Love the people who treat you right.  Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is 10% what you make it and 
90% how you take it!

Think! A Beautiful Story

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always 
there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her Boyfriend.

He asked her,’ Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. 

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.' 
This is How the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift
Today Before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

Before You complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before You complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today Before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before Whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when You are tired and complain about your job - Think of the Unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your Job.

And when Depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on Your face and think: you're alive and still Around..

I pray, this moves around the entire universe……

Are You A Great Leader?

In my 20 odd years, I’ve been fortunate enough to observe great (and not so great) leaders; I have read many books about leadership, and have gained many years of experience as a leader myself.

Through all this I’ve walked away with a ton of lessons about what makes a great leader and I take this opportunity to write about many of them today.

So what makes a great leader?

You won't be able to attract and retain great people if they don't feel like they are part of the authorship of the strategy and the authorship of the really critical issues. If you don't give people an opportunity to really be engaged, they won't stay."

As a leader, one of my primary goals is to attract and keep motivated workers. Here are few key traits of a great leader.

Key Trait #1: You must have a vision. We've all heard the saying "You must stand for something, or you'll fall for everything." But what does that really mean? Standing firm when it comes to your company's policies and procedures is all well and good, but it doesn't speak to having a vision. As a leader, you have to learn to communicate your vision or the vision of your company to the people you want to follow you. But how can you do that?

·         Learn to paint a picture with words. Speak it, write it, draw it, touch it. Whatever methods you can use to create a picture, do it. As they say, "A picture is worth a thousand words."

·         Ask each of the other managers in your company to tell you, in their own words, about the vision of the company. How close is it to what you thought they understood? Is your team on the same page as you?

·         As you work, your company's vision should be in your mind every day, and you should reevaluate it occasionally so that it stays current with the changing times in which we live. And remember, your staff needs to be just as involved as you in keeping it up to date if you truly want them to buy in on the vision. Be sure to keep your key players involved.

Key Trait #2: You must have passion. Your employees want passion; in fact, they'll go to the ends of earth because of it, live and die for it. Think of the sailors who traveled with Christopher Columbus or Leif Ericsson to explore uncharted territory. Their leaders' passion inspired them to take on new and very dangerous challenges.

To build an extraordinary management team, you've got to light the "fire in their bellies," to get them to feel passion about the company and connect to the leader's vision. Passion is such a key part of being a great leader that if you don't have it, you simply can't be a great leader. Think of all the great leaders throughout the ages and try to name one that did not have passion.

And passion is infectious: When you talk about your vision for the company, let your passion for your vision shine through. Others will feel it and want to get on board with you. If you don't have passion for your vision, you need to recreate your vision or reframe your description of your vision so it's connected to your passion.

Key Trait #3: You must learn to be a great decision maker. How are major decisions made in your company? What is your process for making them? For instance, do you talk to your management team and create a list of pros and cons to help you make the best decision? Maybe you conduct a cost analysis. Or do you create a timeline for the implementation strategy, process and timing?

Some leaders have a set process, and others fly by the seat of their pants. But you don't want to be one of those leaders who consults no one before making a decision, announces the change the next day and then gets frustrated when no one follows it. If you're one of those, I urge you to implement a set process.

In fact, here's a system you can use to become a better decision maker. It's called the Q-CAT:

·         Q = Quick. Be quick but not hasty.

·         C = Committed. Be committed to your decision but not rigid.

·         A = Analytical. Be analytical, but don't over-analyze (Too much analysis can cause paralysis.)

·         T = Thoughtful. Be thoughtful about all concerned, but don't be obsessive.

When you use the Q-CAT, it'll help you to decide when to bring others into the process and what steps need to be taken to help you make better decisions.

Key Trait #4: You must be a team builder. To become a great leader, you must develop a great team or, one might say, a well-oiled machine. But how do you do that? You can start by handing off responsibility to your team and letting your team to run with it. Don't breathe down their necks and don't micromanage, but make yourself available if questions or problems come up. Teach your team to use the Q-CAT decision-making system and give them the freedom to work through their own decisions.

When projects aren't on track or your team is falling behind on deadline, it serves no one if you start pointing fingers. This is when you need to rise to the occasion and inspire confidence in your employees, to let them know you support them and ready to help. Be ready to alter plans and make new ones. Don't forget to use humor to keep your team's spirits up during a crisis. When an emergency hits, your team will look to you to be a tower of strength and endurance.

Key Trait #5: You must have character. Without character, all the other "keys" are for naught. That's because your innate character strengths and limitations play a critical role in your leadership style. The real question is, are you aware of just what role they play? All great leaders have taken steps to learn about their individual personality and what part it plays in their leadership style.

So what's your leadership style? If you don't know, there are many leadership style assessments available on the market. Two popular ones that have been around for many years are the Myers-Briggs assessment and the "360-Degree Feedback" model. There are dozens of other to choose from--the important part is that you "Just do it," as the Nike ad would say, and see how you rate. It's a good way to do a "character check" on yourself and your leadership skills.

Then, once you've done the assessment, the question to ask yourself is, do you feel your character matches what the assessments are pointing out to you?

If you feel the traits don't match who you think you are, then look a little deeper and be honest with yourself. Sometimes our first response is defensive. You might want to assess yourself with a different type of profile and then compare the results. Within the 360 Degree Feedback model, there's an opportunity to see how your employees and peers view you, too. In learning to be a great leader, the first step is to be open to feedback about yourself as a leader and separate it from you the person.

So are you a great leader? Or do you have the desire to become one? Remember, a great leader is someone who has a clear vision and can turn that vision into a vivid picture that others can see. When you speak about your vision, it should be with a passion you feel in your heart, a passion that creates so much enthusiasm that your team will want to jump on board. When major decisions need to be made, you should encourage everyone to use the Q-CAT system and be responsible for his or her own actions. And you should be continually assessing your own character and never stop growing, personally or professionally.

If you can apply the five keys to great leadership, you'll be well on your way to becoming a great leader surrounded by great employees!

LEADERSHIP’S “TOP 10 things a “must have” in every great leader.

1. SELF-AWARENESS- First and foremost great leaders must know who they are

2. PERSONAL CONVICTION - Leadership stems not just from who people are, but from what they believe,

3. COURAGE - Great leaders will always face resistance to change, they must have the courage to act on their beliefs no matter what the circumstance

4. CREATIVITY - Leaders must be hands-on, and their decisions are often environmentally driven. They constantly have to ask, ‘Here I am. What do I do now?’

5. CURIOSITY - Great leaders have an inherent curiosity that drives them to ask questions and try new things, just to see what happens. Leadership requires regularly thinking of the questions that affect the world we live in.

6. ABILITY TO INSPIRE - When you look at leaders who have changed the world, they have some kind of internal spirit that has led them to do it.

7. ABILITY TO LISTEN - Great leaders often do their best when they stop communicating and start listening.

8. ABILITY TO INNOVATE - It has been said that the difference between management and leadership is the difference between keeping the status quo and innovating to drive change. They need to know not just how to lead, but how to drive change in an organization and convince an entire organization to do things differently. Most leaders are often not good at teaching that particular skill.”

9. EAGERNESS TO EXPERIENCE – A great leader learns by doing and then reflecting on what they’ve done.

10. WILLINGNESS TO REFLECT – A great leader must understand how important it is to take time to reflect on an experience.

Are You Being Grateful ?

You cannot welcome more abundance into your life until you have said to the universe truly, "Hey, thanks for all I have". In my own experience, being grateful is no different than being loving or being compassionate.  Many people that I know do not appreciate the small mercies life has given them, for example having parents, the food on the table, good education, a roof on the head, cloths to wear, a family, loving kids, a job, good health. Besides, being grateful is a wonderful tool to attract what we want into our lives. The problem is that when things are given to us over and over, we start taking them for granted or we forget being appreciative of what we receive. We are naturally grateful, naturally loving, and naturally compassionate when we remove our own internal barriers to being so Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” ~ Brian Tracey.

It’s better to appreciate the things we don’t have, than not appreciate the things we have.

-       Hussein Adamally

Gratitude is under-rated and under-utilized. Most of us focus on the things we want to achieve in life, the things we have not yet achieved, the things we do not yet have. We hanker after it, gripe about it, and wish we had it, wonder when we will get it and scheme to achieve it. It is all well and good to have goals and to visual them and work towards them, but it is critically important to your happiness to take time to appreciate the things you do have and have already accomplished.

You attract what you focus your interest on and that being appreciative of your successes will encourage more successes into your life. Being grateful has another more immediate function. Being grateful immediately increases your satisfaction with your life and allows you to feel happier, which in turn allows you to accomplish more.

Gratitude refocuses your priorities. Focusing on what you are grateful for also reminds you of your priorities and of what is fundamentally important to you. Often we get caught up worrying or focusing on little things that really are not important to us. Thinking about what we are grateful for allows us to refocus and re-center ourselves on what is important to us.

Gratitude allows you to enjoy the good in your life. Oftentimes we believe that only achieving the big goals; like getting the big promotion, winning the lottery, having the best party; buying a new car can make us happy. But focusing on being appreciative allows you to focus on the many small good things that occur in your day.

When you are busy appreciating and savoring all the good things already in your life, there is little time for hankering about what others have. Take a simple common example. Let’s say you have a regular 20 inch TV, but you want one of those new fandangle, flat screen, plasma items to watch the big game on. Imagine that you keep thinking of how great it would be see the game on that big screen and how you wish you had it you will feel very dissatisfied with the TV you do have and envy all those who have the TV you wish you had. Wont You?

Now imagine instead that you focus on appreciating the fact that you have a TV to watch the game on your own TV, in the comfort of your home where you can sit in your favorite chair and relax and enjoy your game-viewing experience. You will feel more satisfied and appreciate the TV you have rather than being unhappy wishing you had another TV. Being grateful helps reduce envy and resentment and promotes satisfaction and happiness.

Studies have shown that people who take a few minutes each day (for a week) to write down the things that they are thankful for sleep better, exercise more and feel less stressed than the control groups who do not engage in a daily gratitude exercise.

Gratitude improves your emotional well-being. Further experiments have shown that people who practice feeling grateful recover from traumatic events more quickly.

All we want is to be happy in life.

Happiness is not only what we feel when we have what we desire, it is also the very emotion that attracts what we desire to us. Focus less on asking the universe for this or that and more on just being grateful for whatever comes. We will feel such sweet and true joy when we enjoy the present fully than by trying to create for the future.

Many a times, we sabotage the manifestation of our intentions unknowingly by focusing too much on intending.

In a 2009 presentation at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, Prof Robert Emmons distinguished between feeling grateful and being grateful. “Feeling grateful is a response to a benefit,” while “being grateful is a way of life.”

Emmons’s research shows that “gratitude has the power to heal, to energize, and to change lives

Just think:

I am wearing clothes others made for me, eating food others grew and prepared for me, using tools others designed and fabricated and taught me how to use, speaking words others defined and explained. The list goes on and on. Any verb I can think of—sleep, play tennis, drive, lecture, watch, bathe—can be followed by a phrase attributing the action to some supporting role by others. There is nothing I do that is thanks to my own efforts alone.

“Most of time [we] fail to notice the efforts of others on [our] behalf.” Why? Because we are caught up in our own suffering. We focus on “what life is denying” and we fail to notice “what life is offering.”

To live a life of gratitude is to open our eyes to the countless ways in which we are supported by the world around us. Such a life provides less space for our own suffering because our attention is more balanced. We are more often occupied with noticing what we are given, thanking those who have helped us, and repaying the world in some concrete way for what we are receiving and have received in the past.

The Moment you are Tension

This is my daily Mantra. I have displayed this in my office and specially in my pantry kitchen, where I find a lot of tension (ha, ha, ha) specially when my wife and daughter get together to cook a meal. Try it out, It works!

The Moment you are TENSION
You will loose your ATTENTION

Then you are in total CONFUSION

And you will feel IRRITATION

This may spoil your personal RELATION

Ultimately you won’t get COOPERATION

And get things into COMPLICATION

Then you may raise CAUTION

And you will have to take MEDICATION

Why not try to understand the SITUATION

And try to think of the SOLUTION

Many Problems will be solved by DISCUSSION

This will work out in your PROFFESSION

Don’t think this is a free SUGGESTION

It’s only for your PREVENTION

If you understand my INTENTION

You’ll never come again into TENSION!

Is your Attitude Weak?

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the water close to Japan has not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went further than ever. The further the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring the fish. If the return trip took more time, the fish were not fresh. To solve this problem, fish companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go further and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis! But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan.    

How did they manage? To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks but with a small shark. The fish are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. The challenge they face keeps them alive and fresh!    

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired and dull? Basically in our lives, sharks are new challenges to keep us active. If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy. Your challenges keep you energized. Don't create success and revel in it in a state of inertia. You have the resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!      

'Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character' - Albert Einstein

Getting Good at Communicating

Having worked with Leaders and Managers for over 20 years, I’ve discovered that one of the most consistent “problems around here” is communication problems. 

There are no Misunderstandings;

Only

failures to Communicate!

As in any relationship, communication is key to a strong business relationship.  This can be the relationship between business and customer, or, equally as important, the internal relationships among different employees within the company.  Communication can be improved in virtually every workplace, no matter the industry or size.  After all, it is the only way for information to effectively spread throughout the business so that everybody can be informed to the degree that they required to properly achieve their goals

There are many opportunities for poor communication in a workplace, and awareness of these hindrances is the first step toward discovering and solving them within your own business.

Among the most trying elements of poor communication in today’s workplace is a lack of information for the proper accomplishment of the tasks necessary within the business.  Even in today’s information overload society, employees often lack the information they need to do their jobs.  They may have the data that they require from external supplies, however, it is the information that their supervisors and co-workers have, but have not properly shared, that remains unsaid.  Frequently, this poor communication is a result of the fact that the people with the information are still processing it themselves, and haven’t distanced themselves enough from the problem to discover that there are other people around them who will also be requiring that information. Furthermore, the way in which people communicate can actually be the cause of poor communication in the workplace. Even if the person with the information believes that s/he has shared this information with all of the right people, this may not exactly be true.  After all, some people are better at communicating than others, and when someone who struggles to express themselves is the source of the necessary information, this causes a problem.  Ideally, people should communicate clearly, at a comfortable rate, with a practical vocabulary, and in an engaging tone.  Poor communication is an important issue to overcome in the workplace, though it may not always be easy.  When resolving the situation in your workplace, remember to give it time, and motivate the employees properly.

And, here are three important things to remember about communication.

1. Communication involves information.

What is the message? Is it clear and complete? Is the message unambiguous? Are there mixed messages? Are there hidden messages or meta-messages underlying the surface message?

2. Communication involves transmission.

What’s the best medium for the message: words, pictures, symbols, telephone, email, memo, letter, report, Power Point presentation, video clip, storytelling, poster, etc?

3. Communication involves satisfactory reception.

No matter how much time and thought you put into information and transmission, it’s still possible for reception to go awry. What can you do to help ensure that the recipient of your message actually gets what you meant? How can you increase the probability that your message is received as you intended?

Is jealousy eating you up?

Have you ever felt yourself resenting another person just because of their perceived success? Do you hear yourself justifying their success with some trivial reason so that you can easily dismiss them (and consequently feel good about yourself)? Through my experiences, I have come to learn that this instinctive emotion is merely trying to protect our ego, by burying our inadequacies and insecurities. Our mind is at work protecting us in the comforts of our little cocoon shell. But to what benefit does it serve?

Not only is the feeling of jealousy not conducive for relationship building and effective communication, but it just doesn’t feel very good. Why do we put ourselves through it?

Out of all the emotions humans show, jealousy is one of the most common and unsettling one. It tends to bring out the worst in us, even though most of us know better. It's an age-old problem, having been recorded since biblical times, and no doubt experienced even before that. And it's not limited to humans, either. Even wild animals like chimpanzees and elephants exhibit jealous tendencies. Jealousy is a common trait, but why do some people have no control over it. Why does it take over their livelihood, I have seen jealousy control people and the results are scary.

We develop styles of thinking based upon our learning experiences, our parents' thinking and societal/community beliefs and expectations. I have seen many ruin their careers, relationships. This has even led to imposing bodily harm and even murder.

If jealousy impacts humans negatively, then why do we continue to behave this way? Cultural psychologists tend to believe that humans are inherently jealous, simply because our jobs, relationships and material goods mean a lot to us, and we don't want to lose them. A popular misconception about jealousy is that it is the same as envy. In fact, the feeling of envy refers to wanting something that someone else has, such as a fast car or a house, more money, better job. Jealousy, however, is more aptly described as the fear of losing something (a lover, promotion, friend, etc.) to someone else. "Jealousy is an anticipatory emotion. It seeks to prevent loss. Jealousy causes us to take precautionary measures. Should those fail a new situation arouses anger, depression, disappointment, and so on."

Jealousy and Envy are closely related but jealousy is usually when you wish you had something someone else has got (a pay rise, a plum project, a promotion) and envy is when you haven’t got it and when you wish they hadn’t either. (Envy is about feeling inferior, wishing you had got what others have, being resentful, and wishing ill-will to others. It also tends to be more about being competitive)

However, all too often, people believe that their negative thinking is realistic. Therefore, they need to be able to evaluate it and determine how to look at the problem more realistically. The two main problematic areas of negative thinking are negative evaluation whether of yourself, others, or the situation and negative labeling of yourself or others.

In a workplace, jealousy can be the fear of disrespect from our peers and subordinates (“if He/she is better than me, or will I will be replaced. will he do better than me”) thus feeling infer-ere. In a business, the fear of loss in sales, customer’s staff and specially bankruptcy; are some of the main causes.

The following are methods to help reduce and eliminate this negative thought pattern:

·         Fully experience the feeling 

·         Love yourself -

·         Stop comparing 

·         Find out what’s threatening you?

·         Write it out –

·         Be realistic 

·         Find your inner strength 

·         Shift your focus 

·         Is this what we want for ourselves?”