Significance of Father’s Day

In any society, be it modern, medieval or ancient, fathers have had a significant position. There may be several relationships in a child’s life, let’s look at a father-child relationship.

He is a guide, a philosopher and more than that, a dear and most reliable friend of the child after a certain age. A child is being helped by his father to set his or her aim in life. Then he helps us in selecting the just ways of attaining our goals in life. Again, when someone gets too tired of the weariness and doldrums of life, his/her father is always there to offer the shoulders of a friend where we can rest for a while.

There is every reason of celebrating such an important relationship and Father’s Day has been designed for this purpose. It was an ancient practice of worshiping ancestors including father and mother. This tradition was maintained by the following civilizations. In the modern society, people started celebrating Mother’s Day first. Gradually, the civilization understood the necessity of Father’s Day too. Although the efforts were made in the early 20th century but it was in 1970s only when Father’s Day was recognized officially in the US by President Nixon. Gradually most of the countries acknowledged Father’s Day and started celebrating fatherhood.  Do you know when Father's day 2012 will be celebrated? If not then please note that Father's day 2012 will be celebrated on 17th June.

Now the question is that how much significance does Father’s Day get in the modern society.

Firstly, while measuring its significance, we should not compare it with Mother’s Day because it is a different occasion. A mother perform the divine right of giving birth to a child and then of nurturing him or her. This is obvious that mothers will get the special treatment. At the same time, it is also true that a father performs an important role in nurturing and raising a child and this role should also be acknowledged. In today’s society, we acknowledge this responsibility through Father’s Day.

The significance of Father’s Day is related directly to the position of a father in the family as well as in the society. Every child needs both father and mother in order to get a good mental health. In the primary stages, both father and mother remain responsible for taking some important decisions related to the education and growing up of the child. At the present time, most of the countries have patriarchal societies and because of this the fathers play the leading role in taking the above mentioned decisions.

The lifestyle of a father affects his child. If the child is a boy, he will surely try and adapt some important parts of his father’s life-style. If a father can set good examples of leading life in a healthy way, the child is bound to follow the same. Anyone, with good ideas, proper education and a healthy lifestyle, is a treasure for every society. He can not only lead his life properly but can also help others to do the same and can shape the society in a positive manner. In this way a father can contribute in the development of a whole society.

All these and many more make a father very significant in today’s modern society and because of this, celebrating this relationship and this responsibility is very significant today. Like any other part of the world, India also celebrates Father’s Day with full enthusiasm. This enthusiasm is well expressed by different kind of gifts that are sent on Father’s Day. .

Traditionally, only mother is regarded as the sole nurturer of a child. The role of father is often relegated to a secondary status as compared to a mother. But all of us know that father is just as important for a child as the mother is. If mothers are the heroes of child rearing, significance of father in the development and emotional well-being of a child is no less. Children depend on their father for their spiritual, emotional, physical, financial and social well-being. For daughters, father is the ideal man in the world and also the first man they adore, while for sons, father is an idol and the strongest man they aspire to emulate. 

Though traditionally father is seen more as a provider and guide for children, the scenario appears significantly changed in nuclear family culture of today. With most husband and wife working, fathers in present times are as involved in child rearing job as the mothers are. Today, most fathers do not shy away from changing nappy or taking the difficult task for putting the baby to sleep. This cultural change is helping in strengthening father-child relationship and consequently in emotional development of a child and building of stronger family bonds. 

A father's responsiveness to his children and his emotional availability are key characteristics of fathers that facilitate children's development. Children whose fathers participate relatively more in the emotional side of parenting (e.g., comforting) have higher self-esteem than children whose fathers are less involved. It is not appropriate to say "emotions are only for and from mom and action and activity only for and from dad." In early childhood, a father provides approval and recognition of the child and also helps the child become more autonomous and self-assertive. Child rearing in our culture involves helping the child develop more autonomous. Paternal involvement seems to predict adult adjustment better than does maternal involvement.

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With sons, fathers can imagine back to their own boyhood and imagine the child's future experience. In contrast, fathers relate to their daughters in more complex ways. They may have a hard time imagining how their daughters will turn out since they have no personal experience with knowing what it feels like being and growing up a girl.

It is crucial to note, however, that children of both sexes identify with both parents. A feminine young girl and a masculine little boy will incorporate aspects of both parents into their own personality. A father should be able to communicate to both sons and daughters that they can become like him.

Unquestionably, fathers can help their children develop a sense of competence, security, and self-control.

The Dash - Making a Difference With Your Life

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others."

It's not the date you were born or the date you died that really matters. It's "the dash" between those years and what you do with it to make a difference with your life. This is the essence of The Dash. An inspirational poem written By Linda Ellis’. This  famous poem has turned-and  touched the hearts of millions.

I'd like to share the story behind The Dash, as told by the author, Linda Ellis. It's a wonderful story that I think you'll enjoy. 
 

The Story Behind “The Dash”

While it still amazes me, a simple poem I wrote one afternoon forever changed my life. It all began when I faxed a copy of this poem to a syndicated radio show in Atlanta. Soon after receiving it, the host of this popular show read it on the air. Little did I know how much my life would change from that day forward. Titled The Dash, these 36 lines have touched millions of lives and have literally taken on a life of their own by traveling all over the world. I call it uncomplicated poetry in a complicated world.

People are always asking me what, in particular, inspired me to write this poem. I believe it was a combination of things in my life at the time. It was during a period when I was working for the top executives of a very large and successful corporation. It was a strict company with a tense working environment.

I began to watch how the priorities in many lives there had become misaligned. It seemed to me that the bosses were worrying far too much about that which was inconsequential in the scope of life.

Also, resonating in the back of my mind were the words from a letter which had been previously routed around the office. It had been written by the wife of an employee who was aware that she was dying. I was so moved by that letter that I saved a copy of it and continue to live by her words: 

Regrets? I have a few, too much worrying. I worried about finding the right husband and having children, being on time, being late and so on. It didn't matter. It all works out and it would have worked out without the worries and the tears. 

If I would have only known then what I know now. But, I did and so do you. We're all going to die. Stop worrying and start loving and living.

The words have changed attitudes, and changed the direction of lives. They have, in their own way, made a difference. I hope reading it, in some way, may change yours.

The Dash Poem

I read of a man who stood to speak,
At the funeral of a Friend.
He referred to the dates on this tombstone,
From beginning ….to the end.

He noted that first, came his date of birth,
And spoke the following tears.
But he said what mattered most of all,
Was the dash in between those years.

For the dash represents,
All the time he spent alive on earth.
And how only those who loved him,
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters most is how we live and love,
And how we spend our dash …
So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough,
To consider what is true and real.

And always try to understand,
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more,
And love the people in our lives,

Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile …
Remembering that this special dash,
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read,
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
And how you spent your dash?

“Live Your Dash”
~Linda Ellis 

You are always only one choice away from changing your life.”

Just imagine if you had one choice.  What would that life-changing choice be for you, encourage yourself to get energized and make those choices that will change your lives.

One choice, just one, can change your life forever. Simply put, your life today is what your choices have made it, but with new choices, you can change directions this very moment. For me, that idea alone is highly motivational because it offers tremendous hope, regardless of circumstances, for a better tomorrow.

Your life-changing choice may be to switch careers, to leave an abusive relationship, to go back to school, to stop drinking, to adopt a child, to start a business, to lose weight, to start a charity…to name a few. If you have the courage to do so, you could make any one of those choices, or others, today. And you would change your life.

Sometimes it’s a different kind of choice. It can be to not quit, to not giving up in the face of adversity. We’ve all been there.

Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen received 77 rejections for their book “Chicken Soup for the Soul.”

They had to make a decision each time…should they throw in the towel and say enough is enough, or should they keep trying to pursue their dreams? You know the rest of the story. The 78th publisher said “Yes” and they went on to sell over 100 million books.
 

So never forget that:

“You are only one choice away from changing your life.”

Do you have the courage to make it?

To a Child, Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E

"Time, indeed, is a sacred gift, and each day is a little life."

When I see them smile, hear them laugh, and feel their hugs, the most wonderful thought warms my heart: These precious moments spent with my children are priceless. And even when tempers flare, tears fall, and innocent emotions run wild, I know how blessed I am to be a part of their lives.

In the faint light of the attic, an old man, tall and stooped, bent his great frame and made his way to a stack of boxes that sat near one of the little half-windows. Brushing aside a wisp of cobwebs, he tilted the top box toward the light and began to carefully lift out one old photograph album after another. Eyes once bright but now dim searched longingly for the source that had drawn him here. 

It began with the fond recollection of the love of his life, long gone, and somewhere in these albums was a photo of her he hoped to rediscover. Silent as a mouse, he patiently opened the long buried treasures and soon was lost in a sea of memories. Although his world had not stopped spinning when his wife left it, the past was more alive in his heart than his present aloneness. 

Setting aside one of the dusty albums, he pulled from the box what appeared to be a journal from his grown son’s childhood. He couldn’t recall ever having seen it before, or that his son had ever kept a journal. Why did Elizabeth always save the children’s old junk? He wondered, shaking his white head. 

Opening the yellowed pages, he glanced over a short reading, and his lips curved in an unconscious smile. Even his eyes brightened as he read the words that spoke clear and sweet to his soul. It was the voice of the little boy who had grown up far too fast in this very house, and whose voice had grown fainter and fainter over the years. In the utter silence of the attic, the words of a guileless six-year-old worked their magic and carried the old man back to a time almost totally forgotten. 

Entry after entry stirred a sentimental hunger in his heart like the longing a gardener feels in the winter for the fragrance of spring flowers. But it was accompanied by the painful memory that his son’s simple recollections of those days were far different from his own. But how different? 

Reminded that he had kept a daily journal of his business activities over the years, he closed his son’s journal and turned to leave, having forgotten the cherished photo that originally triggered his search. Hunched over to keep from bumping his head on the rafters, the old man stepped to the wooden stairway and made his descent, then headed down a carpeted stairway that led to the den. 

Opening a glass cabinet door, he reached in and pulled out an old business journal. Turning, he sat down at his desk and placed the two journals beside each other. His was leather-bound and engraved neatly with his name in gold, while his son’s was tattered and the name “Jimmy” had been nearly scuffed from its surface. He ran a long skinny finger over the letters, as though he could restore what had been worn away with time and use. 

As he opened his journal, the old man’s eyes fell upon an inscription that stood out because it was so brief in comparison to other days. In his own neat handwriting were these words: 

“Wasted the whole day fishing with Jimmy, didn’t catch a thing.” 

With a deep sigh and a shaking hand, he took Jimmy’s journal and found the boy’s entry for the same day, June 4. Large scrawling letters, pressed deeply into the paper, read: 

“Went fishing with my dad, best day of my life.”

Time Management – Do what really matters

We are all so busy. We have so many things to do, and so little time. We can’t get everything done. And if we do, we don’t always get the sense of fulfillment. Most time management books try to teach you how to do more in less time. I think the secret to fulfillment is doing less, not more, but doing it with passion and attention and focus. To do less, I use the “4 D’s Principle”:

1.    First D is for ‘Drop it’. Some things don’t need to be done at all. E.g. what would happen if you don’t take that call while having dinner with your family? What if you don’t go to pick up that friend from the airport? What if you stopped washing the tub before and after every shower? What difference would it make? You could spend that time doing something that can’t be ‘dropped’.

2.    Second D is for ‘Delay it’. You notice your car is dirty. Do you have to wash it right now, or you can do it tomorrow? That email doesn’t have to be answered right now; you can do it after completing the proposal you are working on. You don’t have to open all the mail as soon as it arrives. Are there things you do every day that can be done once a week? Or things you do every week that can be done once a month?

3.    Third D is for ‘Delegate it’. So here’s something that can’t be dropped or delayed e.g. your child needs to be taken to a doctor. The air conditioning needs to be fixed. The customer needs a product replacement or a refund. Ask yourself if you have to do it yourself, or whether you can get someone else to do it for you. You’ll be surprised how many people are willing to do things for you, only if you ask (nicely).

4.      Fourth D is obviously ‘Do it’. Your daily exercise. Time with your kids - reading, talking, playing, helping them with their school work, or just listening to them. Being with your loved one - the dinner, movie, walk or just being together. That course you have been wanting to do. That customer you need to call. That paper you need to write. The books you want to read. The friend you want to call. The vacation that you need. These are some of the things you won’t have to drop, delay or delegate if you follow the 4 D’s

Look at all the stuff you do and see what can be dropped, delayed or delegated. How much more time you’ll have to do the things that really matter - that are important, as well as urgent!

The Power Of Discipline

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment”

When you practice self-discipline you feel like you are in control of your life. You feel content and

motivated because you're moving toward your goals.

It is the difference in winning or losing; between greatness and mediocrity

Why are some people more successful than others? Why do some people make more money, live happier lives and accomplish much more in the same number of years than the great majority?

I started out in life with few advantages. I did not graduate from high school. I started working as a computer operator. I had limited education, limited skills and a limited future.

And then I began asking, "Why some are people more successful than others?" This question changed my life.

Over the years, I have read on success stories and on achievement. It seems that the reasons for these accomplishments have been discussed and written about for more than two thousand years, in every conceivable way. One quality that most philosophers, teachers and experts agree on is the importance of self-discipline.

"Success is tons of discipline."

"The most important success principle of all

"Do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not."

Without self-discipline, you will not achieve success."

Self-discipline is the key to personal greatness. It is the magic quality that opens all doors for you, and makes everything else possible. With self-discipline, the average person can rise as far and as fast as his talents and intelligence can take you.

Escape the weekend work trap

It’s 5.30pm on Friday and everyone’s gearing up for the weekend. Yet instead of enjoying their time off, more and more people these days are spending their evenings and weekends working overtime or worrying about work problems.

With the economy looking shakier by the minute it’s understandable that many of us feel pressure to work extra hours. However this can have a negative effect on our health and well-being if we are constantly strung out and exhausted – and it goes without saying that this is going to affect our performance at work.

That’s why I’m going to take a look at a few suggestions for how to stop work worries encroaching on your much-needed weekend.

Write a to-do list
I think a great many of us find it difficult to stop work thoughts creeping into our minds during the evenings and weekends, when instead we should be relaxing and enjoying a rest.

To stop these niggling worries, make sure you spend your last half hour or so on a Friday writing a to-do list for the next week. Really focus your mind on the task and try to be as thorough as possible. This should reduce the amount of worrying you might be likely to do in your days off.

Practice an end of week ritual
At the end of the working week, make sure you do something to signify that the weekend has begun and work has finished until Monday. It could be something as simple as switching off your computer, tidying your desk or making a final cup of tea, but whatever you choose, make sure you do it at the end of every Friday to get your brain into non-work mode.

Get out into nature
Instead of spending your weekends fretting about work or checking your emails, make sure you spend some time outside enjoying nature. Research from the University of Washington has revealed that spending time in nature can help to reduce stress as well as lower blood pressure.

You will also top up your quota of vitamin D by spending some time in the sunshine and if you combine this with some form of exercise – walking, cycling or gardening perhaps – you will notice a lift in your mood.

Tell yourself that you’re worth it!
Many of us put in longer hours at work because we are insecure and have a fear of failure. By putting in long hours we somehow convince ourselves that we are a better person for it. But often this leads to further stress, anxiety and exhaustion, eventually ending in burn out.

Make a conscious decision to take time off for your own health and well-being, because your body and mind deserve time to rest and recover. Pledge to do at least one thing over the weekend just for you – plan a beauty treatment, cook yourself your favorite meal or just spend an afternoon reading or playing with your lids or read that book you’ve been meaning to read for ages.

Be selfish for once and make the weekend all about you!