Tips for boosting your Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is a problem which affects many of us from time to time. It’s certainly something that I’ve battled with throughout my life. I thought for this particular blog post I would take a look at some strategies to combat low-self-esteem and promote feelings of positivity and well-being.

Be kinder to yourself
our self-esteem is based on how we feel about ourselves and, for most of us, we’re way too harsh. Take a moment to think about the things you say to yourself. Have a listen to that little voice in your head – is it critical, negative, and harsh?

Do you tend to say things to yourself like: “I’m such a failure” or “I never do anything right”? Well, imagine that a friend of yours was feeling down about himself. Would you say those things to him? No! You’d offer support and encouragement wouldn’t you? So, why say them to yourself?

Next time you start coming out with self-criticism, try to think of some positive and encouraging words instead. Look at mistakes as learning experiences, forgive yourself and focus instead on your good points and achievements. Don’t be so harsh on yourself!

Always hang out with people who make you feel great
Being around people who love and respect you will do your self-esteem no end of good. Have a really good think about the people you know who always put a smile on your face and resolve to spend more time with them because they will lift your spirits.

If certain people have a habit of dragging you down, making you feel depressed or criticizing you all the time, then make every effort you can to avoid them.

Do things that you enjoy
If there’s a particular task you struggle with then you’re bound to feel negative and miserable whenever you do this.. In this sense I try to make sure that I do things I enjoy because they increase my self-esteem and feed into that cycle of positivity. Make a list of things you enjoy and know that you are good at – ask a friend to help you – and resolve to do at least one of these things every week.

Practice mindfulness
Following on from that last point, practicing mindfulness is a great way of combating the negative self-talk that chips away at our self-esteem. Mindfulness helps to switch off that internal chatter, which the Buddhists call the “Monkey Mind”, and instead replace it with clarity, focus and calm.

Mindfulness involves focusing entirely on the present moment, rather than living in the past or looking to the future. It’s not about trying to change things but trying instead to accept the way that things are for better or for worse.

Sit somewhere comfortable and quiet where you won’t be disturbed. Turn off your phone and any other distractions, like the TV or radio. Close your eyes and take a few deep, calming breaths. Stay this way for at least 10 minutes, just focusing on your breathing.

If thoughts start to pop into your mind, don’t get stressed or anxious about them; don’t consciously try to get rid of them. Instead, acknowledge them, and then imagine them floating away like clouds in the sky. After the 10 minutes is up, congratulate yourself on having taken time out to relax and still your mind.

The Boomerang Effect of Kindness

 “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

~Princess Diana

It's amazing what the power of kindness can do. Kindness allows us to connect to hearts, touch souls, and transform lives. As a bonus, in addition to the effects that our kindness has on others, kindness can be good for our own health as well. 

Today, it is my hope that you will act with kindness so that you may bring unexpected goodness into your life and the lives of those in your world.

Call it karma or the laws of the universe, whatever kindness you share with others comes back to you. There’s nothing like the feeling you get when you are kind to someone else…without the slightest expectation of anything in return. In fact, taking the time to be kind can actually be good for your health. In his book,

•A rush of euphoria, followed by a longer period of calm after performing a kind act, is often referred to as a “helper’s high,” involving physical sensations and the release of the body’s natural painkillers, endorphins. This initial rush is then followed by a longer-lasting period of improved emotional well-being.

•Stress-related health problems improve after performing kind acts. Helping reverses feelings of depression, supplies social contact, and decreases feelings of hostility and isolation that can cause stress, overeating, ulcers, etc. A drop in stress may, for some people, decrease the constriction within the lungs that leads to asthma attacks.

•Helping can enhance our feelings of joyfulness, emotional resilience and vigor, and can reduce the unhealthy sense of isolation.

•A decrease in both the intensity and the awareness of physical pain can occur.

•The health benefits and sense of well-being return for hours or even days whenever the helping act is remembered.

•An increased sense of self-worth, greater happiness and optimism, as well as a decrease in feelings of helplessness and depression, is achieved.

Today, it is my hope that you will act with kindness so that you may bring unexpected goodness into your life and the lives of those in your world.

How quick are you to pass judgement on others?

Are we most of the time Judgmental, We tend to come to assumptions and pass judgments on others in such a hurry.  In any situation, think for a moment, Show more passion & patient and don’t be judgmental towards people. Here’s a story which I am sure will break your heart.

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call as soon as possible, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father going and coming in the hall waiting for the doctor. Once seeing him, the dad yelled, “Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have the sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled and said, “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came the fastest I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work.”

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily.

The doctor smiled again and replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Book “From dust we came and to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go and intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace.”

“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy,” murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy.

“Thank goodness! Your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running. “If you have any question, ask the nurse!!”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face:

“His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”  

The next time, be careful when you are Judgmental.

Hope you got Inspired, I know I did.

Have a great Weekend.

Lying, Infidelity and Cheating

Discovering infidelity, or deception by a loved one, creates a lot of uncertainty, which I know many are facing today. Initially, most people approach the topic of lying and infidelity somewhat reluctantly - driven by their curiosity or by a recent, unexpected discovery.

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.-Oscar Wilde

 For better or for worse, our romantic relationships are not always as straightforward as we would like them to be. From time to time, our intimate relationships can become complicated and complex - full of contradictions and inconsistencies.

When it comes to love and marriage, people expect a spouse to be completely honest. But, at the same time, everyone values their sense of freedom and privacy. So while romantic partners typically want to please each other, at other times, couples experience competing goals which can make telling the truth more difficult.

As it stands, our close relationships involve a lot of truth telling as well as some dishonesty.

If love was straightforward and unchanging, that would be easy to acknowledge. But, when you take a close look at the nature of love and romance, one thing becomes clear: Love creates both happiness and heartache, opportunities and constraints, joy and sorrow.

For the most part, spouses are considerate, honest and kind. But at the same time, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, betray those they love. Deception comes in handy when people want to limit their partner's choices, avoid conflict or punishment, or when people want to influence their partner's behavior.

While it is not uncommon for people to lie and cheat, it is difficult to accept that one's own husband or wife might be doing . Who hasn't caught a boyfriend or girlfriend lying only to have him or her deny it - "I would never lie to you."

Not only can our close relationships sometimes cause heartache and anxiety, but it's also difficult to discuss lying and cheating out in the open. When you mention the possibility that love and betrayal might go hand-in-hand, people tend to get angry or they become defensive.

We know how disheartening it is to deal with these issues. But, disheartening or not, deception and infidelity are important to understand. Even in the best of circumstances, it can be difficult to know what to believe. Many people struggle with their suspicions and concerns.

For example, people often wonder...

•        Is my husband/wife just being flirtatious or could he be tempted to cheat?

•        When I ask my wife/husband a question, why doesn't she look me in the eye?

•        How come my girlfriend doesn't answer her phone?

•        Why is my partner working so late?

•        What's causing my boyfriend/spouse be so distant lately?

Is there an innocent explanation for everything that happens? Or could you simply be reading too much into what's going on? The truth is not always easy to discern.

Actually having to investigate a spouse can quickly turn into a never-ending challenge. More often than not, this happens because a cheating spouse will rarely admit the truth even when confronted with evidence of his or her guilt.

Sadly enough, some level of suspicion might actually be warranted from time to time. Research indicates that if you want to look for deception in your own life, the best place to start is close to home. Lovers often lie about their true feelings for each other, the feelings they have for others, their level of commitment, their whereabouts... And people tend to tell their most serious and consequential lies to those they love.

At one extreme, some husbands and wives never plan on being faithful. While millions of other husbands and wives, who never intended to commit infidelity, nevertheless, still end up doing so. To make matters more complicated, detecting deception, or infidelity, is never as easy as people think .Not only can it be difficult to investigate a spouse, but doing so also raises a host of relational, ethical, and legal concerns - issues which are important to consider before starting to monitor a spouse. 

In any case, most of the lies lovers tell go undetected because people downplay the risks that a partner would lie and most people over estimate their ability to spot their partner's.

For the most part, the strategy of "assuming the best" works fairly well, until the day comes when it does not, and with little warning or preparation we have to confront the reality that our close relationships are not exactly what they appear to be.

Eventually, almost everyone will catch a partner in a lie. Often, it amounts to uncovering nothing more than catching a spouse telling a small, white lie.  Of course, sometimes it also involves something much more serious such as infidelity.

When deception is uncovered, even finding out the truth about a small, white lie can lead to problems such as increased suspicion and doubt. If your spouse is willing to bend the truth about something trivial, what about something that really matters? When something much more serious is uncovered, people have a difficult time coping with what they have learned and dealing with the fact that someone close to them has betrayed their trust.

It’s not so much that coming to terms with deception will solve all of the problems that people are going to encounter, but it will certainty help to reduce the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty that occurs when deception comes to light.

The Joy of Helping

We spent one weekend helping my aunt move Houses.She Lives alone, she suffers from Cancer, she also recently lost her husband to Cancer. Well it may seem nothing much or anything to write about. But when you come to think of it, how many of you, have lately gone out of your comfort zone or your busy weekend schedule (Yeah! That’s right…) to help somebody out?

Did she need our help? I am sure there are so many that could have helped her. Well what matters is that we were there for her. We only realized how much of a difference we (that’s me and my wife) made by being there and taking care of things when we had finally finished setting up her home. At the end of the day we were so tired and exhausted, but the feeling was absolutely awesome, to know that we had made a big difference to somebody.

Sometimes the small things to us make a huge difference to others. We all can be generous. We all can help. It’s up to us to make the shift.

When we die what we take with us are memories and the good and bad that we have done.

Make a difference in someone else lives today. You will be remembered for who you were and not for the car you drove or the house you built.

Act today, I know I have done it, and will definitely do it again, what about you? 

Promise Yourself

Ø  To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind; 

Ø  To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet; 

Ø  To make all my friends feel that there is something in them; 

Ø  To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true; 

Ø  To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best; 

Ø  To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own; 

Ø  To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of my future; 

Ø  To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature I meet a smile; 

Ø  To give so much time to the improvement of myself that I have no time to criticize others; 

Ø  To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble; 

Ø  To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds; 

Ø  To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side so long as I am true to the best that is in me. 

What would make you happy ... really happy?

Is it more money, a new car, a promotion at work? Sometimes we get lost in the materialism that's all around us and forget that happiness really lies within ourselves.

If we take a moment to reflect, our eyes can be opened to the joy behind what may seem on the surface, at least, to be the stumbling blocks in our lives.

A thankful spirit is a healthy spirit. As the twists and turns of life lead to feelings of being out of control, sometimes our attitude is all that we have control over...the following reflection may help you develop a thankful attitude. Sometimes life is all about how we look at it!

I am thankful for...

• The mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

• The taxes I pay because it means that I am employed.

• A lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.

• My shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

• The spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.

• All of the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.

• My power consumption bill because it means I have Electricity.

• The lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means that I can hear.

• The alarm that goes off early in the morning hours because it means that I am alive.

• The piles of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

If you have weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, it means you have been productive.

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.

Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”